Chi Pang-yuan. The great flowing river: a memoir of China from Manchuria to Taiwan

Edited and translated by John Balcom. — New York: Columbia University Press, 2018. — 448 p. — e-ISBN: 9780231547819.齊邦媛. 巨流河Since I came to Taiwan in 1947, the memories of the twenty-four years of my life lived in war-torn China have haunted me like a second reality. I came of age during a historic time when my country was united to resist the Japanese invasion. The twentieth century is not too long ago. Gigantic human griefs were buried with it. Its indescribable sufferings have lingered for three generations now. There still are some middle-aged grandchildren looking for the graves or bones of the missing soldiers. After the 1949 national divide, remembrances were mostly smothered; the blood of the martyrs and the tears of the exiled have gradually become untraceable. All these seventy years I spent my time reading and teaching, trying to push the overbearing nostalgia to the corner of my mind, but my heart rebels. It still bears the invisible scars of war. My soul sometimes still trembles with the fathomless sorrows of a lifelong exile. When I finally determined to write down my memories to ease my heart, it was quite late. I was convinced that I could only start from the limited scope of my own experience, with my lifelong respect and tribute to those who fought so that I might live. I had to write the book for the millions who died in the war and the tens of millions who became exiles, like my own parents. I cannot leave this world without commemorating the many unsung heroes who lost their lives for an unprecedented national cause. Through them, I saw how the human spirit, with fortitude and grace, can soar despite the darkness.